Don’t make me write an excerpt, you wouldn’t like me when I type. How many reviews, do you imagine, began with some variation of “wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” when the original Hulk film was released? I’m sure a quick search could give us an estimate but no one wants to go back and read warmed over reviews for a bad movie.
Which is why we decided to watch and jointly discuss the Ang Lee Hulk. Tim had only ever seen the Edward Norton Hulk while Wetall has only seen Eric Bana. Only one of those was rectified for this show. We talk about the Hulk Dogs, Nick Nolte and pitch a possible theory as to why it doesn’t work as a whole.
Weltall then talks about Skin Trade. It features Tony Jaa and Dolph Lundgren, whose name Wetall likes to mangle for fun and profit. They’re both combating the titular skin trade, prostitute slaves, being run by the slab man himself, Ron Perlman. There’s a bit of a Taken thing going on with Lungren’s daughter who doesn’t get found by the time the credit appear. So it’s a very cheerful film, is what we’re saying.
Tim drags up the ancient and decaying Bones. It features Snopp Dogg, who can’t act, terrorizing people who killed him. Or rather, that’s the summary of the synopsis on the cover. The movie has no idea what it wants to be, constantly loses focus and drops in plot points wherever convenient. It is a train wreck that occurs in slow motion over the running time and invites unfavorable comparisons to other horror franchises by leaning on their tropes. Which all makes it hilarious.