Even if humanity stopped making films right this second and never made another, there would still almost be too many to watch in a lifetime. That doesn’t mean they’re all quality though. By the time you died, you’d have watched a mountain of garbage recorded by some schmo with a Sony Handycam and two hundred parts ambition to one part talent.
So it’s baffling when one of the best known turds from the nineties, Samurai Cop, received a sequel in the twenty first century. Through the miracle of crowdfunding, the majority of the original cast is reunited under a director who is either worse than the original or a savant at making movies appear bad. Going by his filmography, we believe the answer to be obvious.
Weltall then talks about Tadpole. It features a pretentious kid who wants to sleep with his mother, pardon, step mother. And this is not, in fact, an anime which should be reviewed on one of the other shows. If nothing else, it has inspired Weltall to find and read Voltaire just to be able to take the piss out of people who quote him on Facebook.
Tim then talks about Empire State. It features the lesser known Hemsworth playing an American security guard. He ends up being part of a theft of cash from an armored car service. Tim couldn’t be bothered to find out how accurate it is to the actual crime that it’s based on(i.e. there wasn’t a Wiki page about it). Also, Dwayne Johnson is in it and looks almost as anachronistic, in a movie set in the eighties, as a drone.