Script 2 Script 17: Die Hard

Holiday movies suck rancid balls. That may be a controversial statement around here as we’re sure everyone reading gets quite a kick out of watching Lifetime crank out more Christmas movies than could be supported by an advent calendar that starts on Halloween. So what are you to do when people pester you what “holiday” movie you want to watch. The threat of such turds such as Jingle All the Way and The Santa Clause may make you grasp for the safety of irony and latch onto Die Hard.

So you fire it up for the umpteenth time, thankful that it’s just not some schmaltzy family film about the “true meaning of the holidays” when you notice something you’ve not seen before. Why the opening credits have a little byline that says “based on the novel by”. Wait a tic, Die Hard was based on a novel? But that could only mean it’s ripe for review on our show.

Tim and Vanessa discuss one of the best known movies and the least read source material. There’s a lot to go over from a shift in ages of the protagonist to his background. Random characters who add nothing to the story, which we’d like to call the “Taco Bill” effect. Dull radio conversations with a stewardess who flirted with the protagonist at the beginning. All these are topics we’ll have a lot to say about.

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