All posts by Weltall

Popcorn Pulse 47: Sorceressuckit

We don’t often get recommendations that we can jointly review. Tim is more than willing to sit down to any abomination put to celluloid, preference given to anything that predates the turn of the millennium. Weltall is tolerant as long as it isn’t mind meltingly stupid and filmed on some liberal arts major’s iphone. So it was with no small amount of trepidation that we approached a recommendation from our most prolific source of emails

Sorceress(1982) is a budget sword and sandal flick. Not that there was any other kind of fantasy film before Peter Jackson demonstrated it was worth investing a few bucks into a fantasy and treat it with a certain amount of gravity. It was made in Mexico, presumably to skirt the guild fees and to stretch their budget dollar further. It features twins who posed in Playboy, back when people cared, a knockoff Gimli before Gimli was filmed and creepy goat man who bleats and runs off to presumably masturbate in the woods. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 47: Sorceressuckit

Popcorn Pulse 45: Brosnan Blow

It’s the beginning of Winter here in the northern hemisphere. Naturally the snow on the ground and approaching jam packed holidays, pick your favorite, made us think of lawn care. Specifically an ode to the care and feeding of the greenery from the nineties, The Lawnmower Man(1992).

Would you believe that it stars a pre Bond Pierce Brosnan? It also shares a title with a Stephen King short story but was so different from his work that he sued to get his name removed from the film. We’re not experts but we’re pretty sure that’s how you get yourself written into a story where you’re wife is a demon who sucks your soul out via toothy blowjobs while secretly screwing all your friends. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 45: Brosnan Blow

Popcorn Pulse 44: Todayland

If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s making almost seemingly baseless assertions regarding people within the entertainment industry. In this case we tackle Tomorrowland[2015], today, which just came out the other day. In it, George Clooney is a master inventory who needs a spunky sidekick to help him ride an ancient rocket into another dimension so she can fix a scientific magic eight ball.

Because it deals, somewhat, with the theme of exceptionalism it feels right within the wheelhouse of Brad Bird, director of the incredible. We maintain that someone decided to take an un-optioned Bioshock adaptation and staple Disney over the parts of Rapture. Also, Hugh Laurie shows up as Dr Evil House. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 44: Todayland

Manga Pulse 342: Gold Death

Whelp, it’s officially becoming the election year in the States. This means that the drudgery masquerading as election news is slowly morphing into actual news. It still looks like a man wearing a Tribbles ass who is famous for being rich and firing people will still be an actual candidate. And to think, people once lamented that a former actor was running after successfully being a governor. Continue reading Manga Pulse 342: Gold Death

Manga Pulse 341: Gun and Punching

There’s nothing quite like governmental redundancy. If nothing else, bureaucracy is quite good at making a theater out of stagnation and calling it action, see the TSA. Tim and Wetall have a brief discussion on this fact before entering the meat of manga reviews. Continue reading Manga Pulse 341: Gun and Punching

Manga Pulse 340: What episode is it again?

There is a lot of confusion in this episode based on its enumeration. This is because, for once, we suffered from a rare bout of overconfidence. As always, it leads to us screwing something over. We can only hope this doesn’t lead to people believing they’ve gotten an erroneous episode and email calling us idiots. While they would be factually correct on that count, the episode would still be correct. Continue reading Manga Pulse 340: What episode is it again?

Manga Pulse 339: Ghoul Ass

It’s always a little sad when Halloween comes to pass. Not because the slutty versions of everything costumes get put away, though it is sad in its own right, but because the retail chains let loose the hounds of December. Yes, the popup holiday stores have gone away and now the big retail kids have put the fat man in the red suit to work, shilling more plastic trinkets while pop artists screech the same seven carols are the beleaguered, underpaid employees. Continue reading Manga Pulse 339: Ghoul Ass

Manga Pulse 338: Desert Mob

The real trouble with Tribbles isn’t that they eat everything and reproduce like Duggars on methenphatamine fertility treatments. It’s that they attach themselves to the skulls of suit wearing business “tycoons” and convince them to play in politics. Why, we’re sure if you stopped and think about it you could probably name at lest one boardroom surfing twat hammer who’s so afflicted. Unfortunately, the only cure is a flamethrower to the face. Continue reading Manga Pulse 338: Desert Mob

Manga Pulse 337: Little Bites

With Summer finally gone, we can clean up the sand and put away the barbecue. Now it’s time to start saving up for holiday shopping seeing as Summer never reimbursed us for gas, beer or snacks. Summer’s a bit of a mooch, is what we’re saying. We’ll still welcome them back when Spring leaves us alone and afraid. Continue reading Manga Pulse 337: Little Bites

Manga Pulse 336: Magma 4

This installment of the shows pairs well with either a spring bottled red and a steak, done to your specifications but if it’s well done you should know you’re a heathen. For the beer drinker we recommend a grilled chicken and a slightly chilled IPA. For the more dedicated among you, we recommend a finger of whiskey. Continue reading Manga Pulse 336: Magma 4