Do you, like Buzzfeed’s target audience, remember the nineties? Jnco jeans, ska band music, the discontinuation of Planters Cheezballs? Sometime we also awaken in cold sweats remembering the kids who wore The Crow makeup to school. Something Vanessa actually had in high school. Tim only saw about half a dozen people dress up as The Crow for every halloween until nineteen ninety nine.
If you hadn’t figured it out already, we’re talking about the comic turned movie, The Crow. Now it’s just starting to sound weird. The crow. tHE crOW. the crooow. Does that sound right to anyone else?
The bones of the plot carries over well from the comic to the movie. Bad guys randomly kill a guy and his girlfriend. The guy comes back from the dead one year later to wreak vengeance, his spirit carried back by a crow. Six months later he’s buying and selling land in the city while flipping tenements for profit.
The movie adds some very weird angles like implied incest and black magic. It’s not a bad movie but we doubt that it would have been fondly remembered if it hadn’t lead to the death of Brandon Lee during a stunt accident. We think both are equally worth reading and watching.
Holiday movies suck rancid balls. That may be a controversial statement around here as we’re sure everyone reading gets quite a kick out of watching Lifetime crank out more Christmas movies than could be supported by an advent calendar that starts on Halloween. So what are you to do when people pester you what “holiday” movie you want to watch. The threat of such turds such as Jingle All the Way and The Santa Clause may make you grasp for the safety of irony and latch onto Die Hard. Continue reading Script 2 Script 17: Die Hard→
Now for something a little on the lighter reading side. Tim and Vanessa read and watch Ella Enchanted. The story takes place in a somewhat fairytale world where there are centaurs who are basically dumb children along with giants and fairies. An obnoxious fairy bestows what she considers a gift upon the main character, Ella. She has to be obedient to anyone who tells her to do something. This causes her life to become hell when an evil step sister discovers this gift. Continue reading Script 2 Script 16: Ella Enchanted→
We’ve done a number of modern books on Script 2 Script but let it not be said we don’t go back. In seeking out a classic, we go all the way back to what may be the first science fiction novel, Frankenstein. Continue reading Script 2 Script 15: Frankenstein→
The eighties were definitely a different time. If online videos and articles can be believed, music and hair was bigger. Fashion was full of neon and people could actually make a living selling records and newspapers. An often overlooked phenomenon was the rise of Japanese manufacturing and the sudden fear of a foreign takeover. Continue reading Script 2 Script 14: Rising Sun→
Remember the good old days? Back when there were only a couple of channels on the television. When families would get dressed up to fly a plane. And back when you could just stuff your kids into an attic, pretend they don’t exist and move on with your life.
That’s the overarching plot of the book Vanessa and Tim decide to tackle in this episode. Flowers in the Attic is about a family who is very happy until tragedy strikes. Dad gets killed in a car accident, the quickest way to remove a pesky spouse for the purposes of drama. This kicks off the plot of a coming of age story. Continue reading Script 2 Script 13: Flowers in the Attic→
Many don’t know the origins of Tim the Enchanter, but when he was a child, he attended his Ceremony of Twelve and received his title and role; The Rager. Despite what the name means to those of low caliber, it is an important profession. He spent years listening to those around him discuss how wonderful the new Taylor Swift album is, the brilliance of Dean Kuntz, how nothing will ever compare to the romance and thrill of seeing “Twilight” in theaters. It festered in him, growing every day until he was able to bring his gift to the masses through podcasts, spewing forth reviews on manga, movies, and books, tearing them apart in vicious diatribes until he was spent. Continue reading Script 2 Script 12: Timgetsconfusedwhatshowitis→
It’s about that time where we do a novel of Tim’s choice. He picked 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. It’s the earliest book we’ve done thus far and a classic in science fiction. Plus any novel that opens up with a jab at Nebraska is alright in our book. Even better is knowing that some versions omitted it because the translators weren’t happy about it.
Our protagonist, Arronax, joins an expedition with a harpooner and his valet. They’re off to investigate reports of a narwhal that is striking and sinking ships. This journey is completely uneventful and Arronax spends most of his time swapping recipes with the crew while they sight see. Once they return to land, he publishes the first marine based cookbook and becomes wildly popular. Continue reading Script 2 Script 11: 20,000 Leagues→
If it’s two things we love, it’s popular trends and the author of Twilight. Which is why this month’s choice was the Jane Austen obsessed book and Stephenie Meyer produced movie, Austenland.
The story follows a woman that can’t let go of how great Colin Firth looks dripping wet and manages to get into the exclusive vacation spot of Austenland where she is totes the prettiest girl there. Whether it’s the coy glances at tight breeches or the rousing games of whist, it’s a non-stop roller coaster of Regency era romance that doesn’t slow down. Where you’re constantly asking yourself, who will Felicity choose? Mr. Flight of the Conchords or Mr. Totally-Acts-As-If-He-Hates-Her-So-There-Is-No-Way-It-Could-Turn-To-Love?
So adjust your petticoat, make sure your wanton ankles are covered, and enjoy us talking about the best side character ever. We’re positive you’ll find her absolutely…charming. *winky face, mid air high-five*
This show is brought to you by the formerly coke fueled man suffering from a transcription addiction, Stephen King. We decided to do something that wasn’t a terrible movie adaptation. Instead, we choose Desperation. While it is a movie, it was done as a TV movie which has entirely different standards than a theater release. For example, no one expects anyone to watch TV movies unless they’re drunk or trapped in hospice. Continue reading Script 2 Script 9: Desperate→
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