Continue reading VG Pulse 314: Overtime Chronicles
Do you, like Buzzfeed’s target audience, remember the nineties? Jnco jeans, ska band music, the discontinuation of Planters Cheezballs? Sometime we also awaken in cold sweats remembering the kids who wore The Crow makeup to school. Something Vanessa actually had in high school. Tim only saw about half a dozen people dress up as The Crow for every halloween until nineteen ninety nine.
If you hadn’t figured it out already, we’re talking about the comic turned movie, The Crow. Now it’s just starting to sound weird. The crow. tHE crOW. the crooow. Does that sound right to anyone else?
The bones of the plot carries over well from the comic to the movie. Bad guys randomly kill a guy and his girlfriend. The guy comes back from the dead one year later to wreak vengeance, his spirit carried back by a crow. Six months later he’s buying and selling land in the city while flipping tenements for profit.
The movie adds some very weird angles like implied incest and black magic. It’s not a bad movie but we doubt that it would have been fondly remembered if it hadn’t lead to the death of Brandon Lee during a stunt accident. We think both are equally worth reading and watching.
A full request episode lays ahead. This is what happens when people send us manga. We are obligated to review it even if our personal bias says there’s no way it could be good. We will do our best to give it as fair a shake as we possibly can. But it’s really, really hard to do considering that the following two are prominently bearing the Tokyo Pop label on the spine.
Tim reviews Totally Spies. It is just like any cartoon manga cash grab that was made around that time in that it’s just an episode cut and pasted into a comic. Probably using something like a pirated copy of Corel Publisher. It gets a Burn It for the low effort garbage it is.
Weltall then reviews Fairly Odd Parents. Spoiler alert, it gets a Burn It. Just like with Weltall’s last OEL comic, he was untainted by exposure to the property beforehand. Too many jokes that just don’t land along with established rules that seem to be pulled from nowhere but are probably better explained in the series itself.
In a departure from the usual review method, Tim watched an episode of the series his OEL was based on. Not the same episode which became the “cine manga” unfortunately. His opinion was that the reason these weren’t successful was the media being adapted. As many of the jokes within the cartoons are visual and rely on timing which isn’t predictable in comic form as it is in video.
Holiday movies suck rancid balls. That may be a controversial statement around here as we’re sure everyone reading gets quite a kick out of watching Lifetime crank out more Christmas movies than could be supported by an advent calendar that starts on Halloween. So what are you to do when people pester you what “holiday” movie you want to watch. The threat of such turds such as Jingle All the Way and The Santa Clause may make you grasp for the safety of irony and latch onto Die Hard. Continue reading Script 2 Script 17: Die Hard
Time to put on your puffy winter vests and hop into your Deloreans as we go back into the eighties and theme the episode around movies that Billy Barty appears in. This time at Weltall’s prompting to look back at Legend(1985). In one of Tom Cruise’s earliest roles directed by Ridley Scott before he decided to butcher the Alien franchise in its crib. If nothing else it should be required viewing for Tim Curry’s performance as basically the devil stealing every second he’s on screen. Tim also adds that while the director’s cut is an excellent watch, you should give the Tangerine Dream score a listen on a streaming site for some exposure to eighties synth.
Tim then talks about Life Stinks(1991). It’s a Mel Brooks film which should put it in for a lock as a hilarious movie. Instead, Mel is attempting to make commentary about homelessness and land development. It’s confusing, lacking in jokes, and makes you long for the hilarity of Silent Movie. At least Billy Barty got a few bucks out of the deal.
Weltall’s contribution is Under the Rainbow(1981). Set around the time of the Wizard of Oz is being filmed, Barty plays a nazi who’s job is to collaborate with a Japanese agent before the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Does that sound so hilarious it should be the premise of a comedy movie? If so, please write us and let us know how much cocaine you’ve taken. Just so we can gauge exactly how much may have been passed around the conference table. We’re guessing the conversation when a little like this. “How’s ‘bout a movie with them little people?” “You mean workin’ folks?” “No, da short ones like in Wizard of Oz only if one of them was a nazi?” “fnurrrrrrrrrkkkk! Oh shit yeah! That was great!” “The coke or my idea?” “Both, man. Both.”
Fall is coming and the pumpkin spice must flow. Even so, nothing stops the flow of manga reviews. Unless it’s something like sickness, late nights working, or a projectile vomiting dog. Other than things of that nature, nothing will stop our manga vengance.
Tim reviews Souzai Saishuka no Isekai Ryokouki. What happens when a nearly useless salary man die of mundanity in Japan? Usually their family dies of collective shame at being so pathetic. Out hero is given a chance by a goofy god to go to another planet and straighten things out. Something the local deities haven’t been able to manage on their own(they must be the incestuous offspring of the Greek pantheon). It gets a Crackers for some humorous moments.
Weltall then tackles a request sent via snail mail, Power Puff Girls. We haven’t seen the likes of this such as Ben 10. Just like that, they simply take episodes and turn them into comics, replete with dialogue cut and pasted onto crappy backgrounds. It’s completely worthless and makes Weltall glad he never watches the series so it had nothing to taint. Even should you receive this as a gift ignite it and urinate on the ashes, lest your grandchildren be cursed.
We like to celebrate landmarks in our show sometimes. Especially considering how long it can take to get to any particular number as we alternate. So we decided to do a movie that neither of us have seen before but is infamously bad, widely mocked, and is often seen on a list of terrible super hero movies. We’ll give you a hint, it’s not from the nineties.
We did Catwoman together and just shortly after the anniversary of the release date. And hey, it’s the ninetieth episode which, when divided by ten, equals how many lives a cat is rumored to have. Nestled right in between the flaming wreckage that was the Shumacher Batman movies and just before the Nolan trillogy was canonized by the online critics we had a DC movie that belonged in neigher.
Halle Berry plays not Selina Kyle who works for an evil make up company. When she dies at the plant, for reasons that don’t make sense, a cat vomits up powers into her dead mouth. This gives her the power of a cat. Unfortunately, like any number of strays, she gets hit by a car and dies a nasty death alone at the side of the road.
Tim talks about The Equalizer 2. Which he saw in theaters for some reason having never seen the first. It sounds like a mess with tonal shifts that make unmedicated BPD look solid as a rock. One minute Denzel Washington a hard bitten veteran, the next he’s trying to talk some neighborhood kid out of joining a gang. Tim assures us it is a mess but a loveable mess that’s fun to watch at least once.
Weltall then discusses Absolutely Anything, staring Simon Pegg. It’s got a heavy involvement from the old Monty Python crew and has a number of well know British comedy talent. So it’s a shame they decided to remake The Sphere but as a comedy. Aliens give one human unlimited power to do whatever he says as a test of humanity. Ho hum. Was the fact Robin Williams was attached to this as the voice of the dog worth watching? Maybe in the background.
Greetings dear listeners. Ryo and Blonde and a mishap last week and also Ryo was dying so the episode is a week late. But never fear, your hentai is here! It’s here to save you from a fire that broke out for some reason. Swear an oath and enjoy this episode of Anime Pulse After Dark! Continue reading After Dark 32: Knights of the Pound Table
This week on anime pulse, we got a bit of a shorter show. Joseph goes into IRL news about being run over by a car and chocolate bunnies in FGO, and Andrew runs down the anime of summer 2018 he hasn’t previewed and calls up our southern belle to read her posts on the show. Afterwards industry news comes in with the top anticipated anime of fall 2018, and Russia pointing the finger at anime for suicides and drugs. And finally in reviews, Andrew is the only one to offer anything with his super powered take on hot froggy girls. When all is said and done, Joseph hits us with operation ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends’.