Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Let’s hop into the Tardis and take you back to a simpler time. Hold up your sporks and prepare to ship Sherlock with the Onceler. Do you remember when Johnny Depp was basically just Jack Sparrow in every damn movie? Let us remind you with Mortdecai[2015].
Depp plays the titular lord Mordecai. He’s English and he has a bad mustache. That’s a whole recurring joke they drive into the ground faster than a Robin Reliant strapped to a rocket. He has a wife, Gweneth Paltrow, and a rival in Ewan Mcgregor who’s horny for her. He’s deep in tax dept to the state and takes a job to help locate a missing valuable painting. Oh and Paul Betany is an oversexed bodyguard and manservant. This is also a horse beaten into glue joke.
Next up is Tim with Dragonfly[2002]. Kevin Costner plays Doctor Grumpy man. His pregnant wife, Doctor Saintly Cancer Lady, dies in a rock slide in South America. Then the cancer patients of hers, kids because she was the bestest person, tell him she’s trying to reach him. Little does he know it’s about his extended car warranty since cell phones haven’t proliferated quite yet.
Weltall then has The Bucket List[2007]. Jack Nicholson is a big hospital tycoon. He must have played a lot of those games we’re always seeing on steam. Morgan Freeman is a mechanic. They’ve both gone into the same hospital and get diagnosed with cancer. They bond and Nicholson sees Freeman working over a list, the titular bucket list, but tosses it into the trash. Jack retrieves it and says Morgan should finish it and not worry about the cost. So the premise is they’re going to do their bucket list items.
