Author: Weltall

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Today we jointly discuss a Clint Eastwood movie, The Beguiled(1971). While he has a large filmography, we wanted to avoid a number of the more well known films by Mister McSquinty. Plus the opening scene was so awful that when Wetall saw it, telling him we had to do this. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 53: Hard Clint”

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If there’s one thing Hollywood, and filmmakers in general, are good at, it’s realizing that there’s a calendar in their office. We’re pretty certain that’s the reason why there was an abundance of films centered around the new millennium released, of course, right around the turn of the millennium.

So it’s quite a surprise that there is a movie called Millennium(1989) which has nothing to do with the year two thousand nor about the much feared Y2K “bug”. It has to do with time travel where people from a thousand years in the future show up to kidnap people before they can die in a plane crash while leaving doppelgangers behind. Also, there are “time-quakes”. No, really.

Weltall then talks about Swordfish[2001]. A movie we may have already talked about but couldn’t find any proof of the fact. It features Hugh Jackman pretending to be a hacker which is almost as unbelievable as Halle Berry as a golfer. Did we mention Halle golfs in this? We imagine that the clip of her swing will be what Jack Nicklaus will have to watch on endless loop in the afterlife. It will be as penance for all those crappy cartridge games that slapped his name on them.

Tim then talks about the remake, Poseidon[2006]. Not only is it rather unnecessary it’s got enough CGI that it serves as a tourist brochure for the Matrix. The main characters come together for apparently no reason to go to the engine room after the ship is overturned. People die off in order of billing and randomly end up imperiled while not knowing how the got there.

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After a lot of low budget and generally poor films as our joint discussion, we thought it would be interesting to pick something considered a classic. So we chose Rashomon(1950). It’s a movie so influential that it had a story telling device named after it. That where a story is told from multiple viewpoints expanding on the potential for unreliable narrators. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 51: Rash Man”

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Even if humanity stopped making films right this second and never made another, there would still almost be too many to watch in a lifetime. That doesn’t mean they’re all quality though. By the time you died, you’d have watched a mountain of garbage recorded by some schmo with a Sony Handycam and two hundred parts ambition to one part talent.

So it’s baffling when one of the best known turds from the nineties, Samurai Cop, received a sequel in the twenty first century. Through the miracle of crowdfunding, the majority of the original cast is reunited under a director who is either worse than the original or a savant at making movies appear bad. Going by his filmography, we believe the answer to be obvious. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 50: Empire Cop”

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There was a period in the eighties and nineties where if you wanted to make a movie featuring martial arts, you did so by invoking something from the “far east”. Hence Samurai Cop(1991). It features some regular B movie actors, a bunch of unknowns and hilarious dialogue. And as there was a sequel done last year, we’ll be doing that in our next Popcorn Pulse. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 49: Ultra Cop”