Wait, is that a box? What’s in the box? No, really, what’s in the box? You’d be forgiven for thinking this means we’re talking about a well known and referenced nineties movie. We are talking about a movie that was part of the “have to watch” if you were slightly into film in that era though. Featuring a no-star Canadian cast that can’t help but beg for a box of Timbits and subpar coffee with every meaningful glance. Which can only mean the box we referenced prior has to be part of Cube(1997).
The premise is fairly simple. There’s a bunch of cube rooms connected to other cube rooms. Some of them are trapped. Put in a cast of characters who can figure out how to escape if they can puzzle out the how together. This keeps the film budget low and gives us a couple of hilarious kills. Particularly the ones using CGI of the time. Also some of the people go crazy out of nowhere and there’s a magical, how do we say this delicately, Rainman character.
In honor of this choice, Tim has Cube²: Hypercube. You can tell the original was more popular via home video than theater release as it took a few years before the second was greenlit and made. This time instead of being in mechanical trapped rooms our cast is in a tesseract. In this movie they mumble the words quantum, space, and parallel dimesnions so you know the science is solid. Why are some of these rooms trapped by angry sugar cubes? Fuck you, that’s why. How are they supposed to figure their way out? Shut up and try and enjoy the wacky kills and the guy with the knife stabbing people repeatedly.
Weltall has The Age of Adaline. Blake Lively plays Adeline. Adeline is driving a car, crashes, then gets struck by lightning. Proving it was a mistake to let women drive unchaperoned. Unlike the thousands of people this happens to every year, she becomes immortal. Not invulnerable, as she carries a scar from later on into present day, but forever youthful. Also, Harrison Ford plays a former lover of hers that’s going a little batty at seeing the woman who left him decades ago alive and banging his son.