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All aboard! Maniacal laughter echoing into the distance. What do you mean, don’t say that part? It’s written in the script you gave me. I don’t know what kind of amateur hour circus you have going here. You’re clearly hiring me to do a knock off introduction of Crazy Train which will probably get you copyright struck. I don’t care enough to fight you on it, I’m just paid flat rate to read what’s on the page. I’ll let you sort this out while I talk about movies.
Tim and Weltall start off with Death Train(1993). A Pierce Brosnan movie where a former USSR General makes two nukes, has a team steal a train and drive it through Europe towards Iraq while holding hostages onboard and threatening to nuke everyone. Brosnan is sent in by Captain Picard to stop this terrorism using his best English accent and a lady sniper.
Tim then has Hiding Out(1987). A John Cryer movie where he’s a stock broker who was witness to mafia bookkeeping. Surprise, the mafia kills his fellow witness and tries to kill him. Cryer then hides out by going to high school with his nephew. This doesn’t exactly lead to shenanigans, more like nanigans. Or maybe just gans. There’s a ton of missed jokes and no real focus on the plot.
Weltall has Speaking of Sex[2001]. There’s a couple who has marital problems. As this is the early part of the millennial, there’s scenes of them at counseling. Because Hollywood had just re-discovered therapists as a storytelling mechanism and loved to cram them in. Because they’re all horndogs who go to therapy. But we get some more James Spader and he’s clearly having fun. Oh, and Bill Murray in a cowboy hat.
