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There are movies which, through wonderful accident of providence, are so bad they remain locked in a vault. These abominations presumably remain in the same warehouse along with the Ark of the Covenant and Harrison Ford’s motivation. Until the dark day some ignorant buffoon steals what they believe to be a treasure and unleash it upon the world.
This is how we ended up with Foodfight! on home video. Voice acted by a stable of people that haven’t been relevant since Saddam Hussein was looking for a spider hole, this movie offers Tim and Weltall everything. Watch as Charlie Sheen does an awful Bogart impression and flirts dangerously with an under age girl. Listen as Hilary Duff delivers her lines with the gusto of a McDonald’s patron requesting a combo. Thrill as the CGI makes the puppets of the original Thunderbirds look natural and flawless.
Then Weltall talks about The Legend of Hercules and how it deserves every fetid tomato it’s received thus far. Really, how can you do worse than the TV series with Kevin Sorbo? With a budget that could almost float an unsinkable ship apparently. Tim will then revisit Tim Burton’s Batman and argue that it’s ahead of today’s superhero movies and he just might have failed.
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