Category Archives: Popcorn Pulse

Popcorn Pulse 20: Bad Hack

Given the year and near proximity to the twentieth anniversary, we decided that the time would be ripe to tackle the cult classic, Hackers. Staring an Angelina Jolie who hadn’t yet decided that collecting children like Pokemon was to be her hobby and some guy who’s name we only remember because he has an IMDB entry, they play the titular Hackers.

Hollywood, demonstrating that it gets trends wrong at least as often as it gets them right, portrays the good guys, aka the “cool kids”, as rollerbladers. Meanwhile, the sole villain, an older and less hip ex-hacker, rides a skateboard. How hindsight always kicks us when we turn around. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 20: Bad Hack

Popcorn Pulse 19: Bladesnipes-Fixed

‘The dictionary defines a blade as…’ No. ‘Pardon me?’ We’re not doing that. If you dare begin any sentence, paragraph or think about using the dictionary definition anywhere, I will beat you. Every hack and their mother pads their writing with straight definition readings. What are you doing here, writing a wedding toast? ‘Okay then, how about this?’

We would have loved to sit there at the meeting where a movie executive green lit after hearing the pitch. Because how can a barely known comic book character adaptation possibly fail? I’m pretty sure Tank Girl and Steel were just aberrations on the chart. Luckily for us, they were right to give Blade a chance. If only so we can talk about the Blade trilogy. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 19: Bladesnipes-Fixed

Popcorn Pulse 18: 13 Games

There are a lot of people who will bad mouth the nineties. Mostly those who grew up in the eighties and associate the appearance of acne, hair and an awkward feeling in their pants when they spot their classmates in gym class. There are plenty of good things that came out of it though like the cultural cornerstones of pogs and Spawn which continue to impact millions everyday.

On that note, we decided to talk about The Fugitive(1993). Based on the TV show from the mid sixties, it’s more evidence that an adaptation doesn’t have to suck. It stars Harrison Ford when he possessed intensity and didn’t just stare off into space, wishing someone would run him over and end it. Yes folks, Han Solo wasn’t always a despondent mannequin who mumbled. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 18: 13 Games

Popcorn Pulse 17: Last Death

Is there anything better than late adaptations of a book to the silver screen? Then Hollywood can botch the whole thing without any input from that pesky author person. Who do they think they are, anyways? Just because they created the world you’re trying to bring to life, what do they know about it?

Speaking of late, adaptations, we did a joint discussion of Death on the Nile (1978). Luckily it’s a rather simple story, from a certain perspective at any rate, and difficult to screw up. For those that read the original story, it follows this adventure of Hercule Poirot as he goes to solve a whodunit on the titular Nile. Surprise surprise, everyone has a motive and you’ll have to watch to find out who isn’t a red herring. Or read the synopsis on Wiki if you’re terribly lazy. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 17: Last Death

Popcorn Pulse 16: Lord of Hills

Hollywood loves nothing more to go back to the well of nostalgia which they believe to be safe. No one ever seems to notice when that well has been poisoned by time or that leaky toxic waste barrel containing the body of the executive who greenlit Batman and Robin. Which explains why we’re going to be treated to such wonderful, and completely necessary, sequels like Mrs Doubtfire 2 and Dumb and Dumber To.

So with all the fraudulent sequels being produced these days we felt it was worth revisiting a seemingly older one in Return to Oz. Instead of being a terrible sequel, it turns out to be an attempt to be more true to the books. This probably doomed it from the get go when audiences were expecting musical numbers rather than creepy men skating around on all fours. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 16: Lord of Hills

Popcorn Pulse 15: Sherriff Glory

Let us pitch you a movie. A small town with a corrupt sheriff who owns everything. A man and his family transported there begin to clash with the local law enforcement. When he’s finally pushed to the edge, the main character lashes out with the only weapon he has, a goddamned tank.

If that sounds like a movie you’d want to watch, let Tim and Weltall explain why you don’t. Like how James Garner’s character keeps mentioning a dead son that adds nothings to the story. Or C Thomas Howell whining to look what they did to him before he grew a pain, joined the Wolverines and fought off the Soviets. Even better are the parts of the movie that become a documentary on a day in the life of a commanding officer. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 15: Sherriff Glory

Popcorn Pulse 14: Super Foods

There are movies which, through wonderful accident of providence, are so bad they remain locked in a vault. These abominations presumably remain in the same warehouse along with the Ark of the Covenant and Harrison Ford’s motivation. Until the dark day some ignorant buffoon steals what they believe to be a treasure and unleash it upon the world.

This is how we ended up with Foodfight! on home video. Voice acted by a stable of people that haven’t been relevant since Saddam Hussein was looking for a spider hole, this movie offers Tim and Weltall everything. Watch as Charlie Sheen does an awful Bogart impression and flirts dangerously with an under age girl. Listen as Hilary Duff delivers her lines with the gusto of a McDonald’s patron requesting a combo. Thrill as the CGI makes the puppets of the original Thunderbirds look natural and flawless. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 14: Super Foods

Popcorn Pulse 13: Outragous Science

We discuss an evil corporations Latin cousin, then we invite you to follow us through our adventure of My Science Project. Back in middle school I did a science project about the effects of different color lights on plant growth. I even used a black light which made the damn thing grow like crazy. Oh and the movie was bad.

The Enchanter decides to break our non rules and talk about something you have probably already seen. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I have nothing funny or witty to say about this. Just listen to him blab about it.

Weltall is Outraged. Mostly because he can’t seem to describe anything in this movie well enough not to sound like a lunatic. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 13: Outragous Science

Popcorn Pulse 12: Chocolate Yum

Do you like attacking disabled children? Then we have the movie for you. Chocolate.

No Music for this episode sorry still in the computer freak out episodes.

Popcorn Pulse 11: Dinosaur City

In his faux buttered episode of Popcorn Pulse Tim and Weltall fall through a wormhole and are assailed by everything bad about the early nineties. Clothes that everyone would be embarrassed to find in their closet? Check. Negligent parents? Double check. The sadest whitest rapping every shoehorned into the end credits of a movie? Check, check, check. Continue reading Popcorn Pulse 11: Dinosaur City