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Everyone has heard the word in Hollywood. That word is exploitation and shady sexual favors. Wait, that’s not a word. The word is remake. That thing we’ve been complaining about long enough to wear out a couple of presidents. Hollywood is nothing if not persistent in their endeavor. Once they’ve bit down they will do a death roll until everybody has drowned.
So we’re talking about a remake with Road House[2024]. Jake Gyllenhaal is literally not me as a replacement for Patrick Swayze. Whereas Swayze was a vaguely unexplained tough guy, Gyllenhaal is a disgraced MMA fighter. He gets randomly gets found by a small bar owner from the Florida keys and offered a bouncing job. This sets the tone for the whole movie where our new Dalton is a leaf on the wind. Wherever the plot wants him, he drifts over to until the plot moves him along to anything else.
Tim then has I am Rage[2023]. The premise is there’s a blood collecting cult in England. Our protag, Angy Girl, is being pulled into it as a victim by a guy. What they didn’t count on was that she’s suffered some sort of past abuse. This resulted in her being the angriest ball of fury that soggy meat pies can power. She goes offer her meds and murders a number of masked cultists.
Weltall then has Cruel Intentions(1999). A movie about bad people doing bad things. The setup is a horrible step sister bets her step brother that he can corrupt a nice religious girl. With the bet being if he wins, he can sleep with step sister. If he loses, she gets his car. It’s a vapid film that benefited from 90
s Sarah Michelle Gellar being 90’s Sarah Michelle Gellar.
