Category: Popcorn Pulse

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I’ll tell you why I wasn’t at elf practice. Because I dream of larger things. Even larger than the red coated fat man himself. I dream of a world where children will make their own toys and pay us for the privilege. Where curled shoes and pointy ears will be signs of repect amd not ridicule. In order to make that happen I had to skip out on elf practice, Spanky.

For their dual review, Tim and Weltall pick 13 Assassins[2011]. They found out that it happens to be a remake of another Japanese classic. The story centers around the evil brother of the Shogun who is gaining political power. To prevent this dangerous man from ascending to power, thirteen men will attempt to manipulate and maneuver him into a trap. It’s a well done political and tactical thriller that culminates in an amazing action set piece we were highly entertained by. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 75: Donut Assassins”

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We’ve talked at length about comic book movies pre-Iron Man and the shared universe phenomenon at least once. There are a lot of relics of that passing age that get to squeak by, buried by the fallout of things like Batman and Robin or Catwoman.

One of the very last of these, before the DC and Marvel juggernauts drowned out most independent comic adaptations, Bulletproof Monk got made. While it may be excellent fodder for an S2S sometime, it definitely warranted some attention from the Popcorn crew. Chow Yun-fat, or “the fat” as Tim calls him for some reason though we don’t have the authority to say its not a thing, stars as the titular monk who isn’t quite bulletproof. More plus one resistance to piercing damage and a dodge action. His pupils is Sean Williams Scott probably best known as Stiffler from American Pie. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 74: Diversity Monk”

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One of out favorite movies not to talk about on the show is Highlander. It’s a fun action fantasy movie that has everything. An American with a Swedish accent that’s two seconds away from going bork bork bork. Swordfights with Clancy Brown. Beheadings that don’t make you feel sad and helpless. And the mascot for Scottish separatism playing an Egyptian Spaniard.

Highlander 2 The Quickening is what happens when someone takes the script for the first one and attempts to ruin any goodwill generated. It has weird porcupine henchmen, sex in a dirty alleyway post murder, and Lambert rasping his lines as though he’s auditioning for an anti-smoking PSA.

Weltall then talks about the TV series Chance where Hugh Laurie plays an all too smart doctor. Doctor Not-House ends up with a female patient who pulls him into a world of police corrutpion betrayal. Plus they’ll probably sleep together at some point and that’s the real reason we watch. To if characters will finally cut through the sexual tension and do it already.

Tim then talks briefly about Crossworlds. Let’s see, it’s from the early nineties and has Rutger Hauer in it. Do we really need to mention anything else? It’s the standard bad movie he tries to get everyone else to watch because “no really, it’s so bad its good”. There’s dimensions and crystals and a bit part for Jack Black before he turned into Po.

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It’s a magma flow of savings, at Anime Pulse! We have close out on mega reviews. Act now and we’ll finish of the entire Lethal Weapon series. Yes we’ve got two, three, four and more inside our discussions. So many weapons of varying lethality that the bad guy from three is trying to get in on our action. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 72: Lethal Mic”

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As only one of them as had to register their pelvis as a dangerous weapon, at least one half of the Popcorn duo knows a thing or two about weapons. Particularly the kind that does mortal damage. The might even be Lethal Weapon(1987). Yes, Time and Weltall are officially too old for this shit and resort to the classic and quintessential eighties buddy action cop flick. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 71: Chinese Tango”

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What happens when you take the guy who played Angel in X-Men 3 and put him in a film that is a spiritual adaptation of Dead Space? Nothing until you add in another Popcorn Pulse Alumni Dennis Quaid. Jointly, we talk about Pandorum[2009].

A terribly advertised movie with trailers that seemed to try and invoke the memories of Event Horizon. It’s set on a spaceship where Ben Foster wakes up with amnesia. He quickly runs into Dennis Quaid who gives him the quest to bring the core back online before it blows up the ship. As Ben makes his way through the ship, fighting possible space madness and reavers, he begins to learn that things aren’t quite what they seem. We fully spoil the twist of the movie within the episode though. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 70: Police Panda”

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With the more recent explosion of superhero movies starting just after Iron Man proved that characters who weren’t sad about their dead parents could be a success, it’s easy to forget the genre is a bit older than that. In fact there was a period right after Burton reintroduces the caped crusader to the world at large that movies about super powers not based on the big two comic publishers began to crop up. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 69: Napalm in the Wild”

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Being the pop culture savants we are, we decided to do a movie featuring Bill Paxton. Frailty[2001] is the directorial debut of the, somewhat, recently deceased actor who gave all the best lines to himself. It starts by being a backstory being delivered by Matthew Mcconaughey. He claims he knows who a serial killer is and relates a backstory about watching his dad murder people. It’s supposed to leave us wondering if they actually are acting as abrahamic paladins and murdering evildoers or if they’re just insane. Continue reading “Popcorn Pulse 68: Frail Runner”

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There’s been a rather dirty word thrown around since Taken live up to its title and caught the imaginations of a wider audience, dadsploitation. Unfortunately, there are films that embody the zeitgeist of the word. Movies where clearly a studio is trying to cash in a trend and aiming it at what they believe to be the target audience of older men who fondle themselves to fantasies of saving a bus load of cheerleaders who fellate them for their efforts.

Thus we have I Am Wrath [2016] starring the Travolta and his amazing technicolor hair. Someone kills his wife because she’s crunched the numbers on water safety and now she knows too much. Luckily for the premise of the movie, Travolta is an ex special forces who has loads of training and hunts down her killer for some revenge but mostly for fun. Considering he seems to be having a lot of fun for a guy freshly made a widower.

Tim then talks about Armed and Dangerous(1986) staring Eugene Levey and John Candy. They play a couple of guys who get fired from their day jobs and end up working together as security guards. This causes them to stumble into a plot by the company to steal merchandise and rip off other employees. It’s best watched while reminding yourself that it’s still better than Candy’s last film, Wagon’s East.

Weltall then talks about Precious Cargo[2016]. It’s back in the same cash-in vein as I Am Wrath. This time it’s Bruce Willis grumping his way around a green screen. It’s a heist style movie and, would you believe it, there are betrayals of trust? Shocking, we know. Next we’ll tell you that there are action scenes in which Willis suffers only a torn sleeve and a mild grimace of disappointment.

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There’s an old joke that when a horror series gets stale the producers will react in desperation and move it to the vastness of space(see Leprechaun 4 or Jason X). Some wonderfully drugged producer snorting coke through his fifth ruptured nostril decided to do away with the conceit of a series altogther. Why not just begin in space without all that mucking about. And that’s how we got Dracula 3000[2004].

It stars Casper Van Dien as a Helsing descendant running a salvage ship. They run across a fifty year old abandoned transport which originated from the “Carpathian” system. So yes, Dracula decided to send himself priority mail across the galaxy to earth in the year 300X. Of course, he snacked on the staff and got it stranded. Watch a cast of five people fail in stopping a vampire and earth save through the accident of autopilot.

Tim then talks about Mom and Dad Save the Universe(1992). It stars Jon Lovitz as emperor Spengo. Spengo has a bit of a Mavin the Martian problem with earth and wants to blow it up. Before he does, he kidnaps two earthlings to woo the wife. If there’s anything good that came from this it’s that this bomb is the reason that Jon Lovitz left the cast of SNL permanently. That’s a pretty good value for fourteen million dollars.

Weltall then talks about a YouTube channel, Lindybeige. He’s primarily focused on history, weapons and whatever else strikes his fancy. At Weltall’s suggestion, Tim watched a couple videos after the show. He recommends that if you check it out, the pair of video about the katana are excellent starting points.