Author: Weltall

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Imagine it’s the late eighties or early nineties and you’re a movie producer. That director with daddy issues that looks kinda like he’s in the cure just made a mint by adapting a little comic called Batman. You thought it couldn’t work because you remember Adam West and the wacky utility belt. But that dude made it work. So you scramble around looking for cheap rights to some of them comics the kids are clamoring for but you don’t want to spend all your coke money. So you pay pennies on the dollar for Tank Girl(1995).

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Oscar season has come and gone and left us with little to talk about. That’s because we don’t care about the awards because we’re not professionals. At least that’s our excuse. Still, one film dared us to talk about it with all the sappy reunion stories leaking like yogurt out of that hooker we paid in two thousand seven. We have Everything Everywhere All at Once[2022].

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With Weltall’s impending trip to the land of the rising sun which illuminates the tentacle porn, we figured a movie about Japan would be just right. It’s from the eighties if that helps and isn’t a comedy. It’s also not weekend at Bernie’s though that’s been requested over seven hundred times. We figure that’s an outlier from a rabid Terry Kiser fan. If you’re reading this, Gerald, we’ll get to it if and when we choose.